Work-life balance has become a term that we have all but thrown out the window. Many parents across the country are working from home and experiencing some frustrating and humorous situations while trying to attempt a whole new idea of work-life balance.
This particular beast I have had the pleasure of battling, as over the years I have been lucky to work from home at periods of my children’s lives.
I really, really get the whole frustration, and guilt, in the navigation on how to balance both.
When I have to be in ‘work mode’ I use my earphones. I am an individual who requires background noise in order to focus, I prefer music, so this is an easy non-verbal signal not to disturb mom. My children are also in the pre-teen and teen category at this point and I have worked from home on and off their whole lives. This is their routine, and let me tell you that word right there, routine, is the difference between pure chaos and organized chaos.
The routine of the kids being home from school, I was able to handle with ease and continue life as I normally would in many ways. Especially knowing my hubby works for a company that is essential for local supply and so we were fortunate to have the security of his employment.
But then it happened, despite that seeming security.
My hubby was laid off
He is not so familiar with my at-home routine, as he is at this place called work usually. We are very fortunate that his workplace is considered essential, and he has been diligently gearing up and heading in every day, staying late and helping out in areas he is not necessarily responsible for due to shortage of personnel.
Then, late night this week he received a message that one of his co-workers received the unfortunate news that his wife had sadly been diagnosed with it – COVID-19. Everyone in that facility is now off until further notice as the facility is quarantined and cleaned.
I can tell the news of this, compounded with having to remain home now, had clouded his thoughts. Here is a new level of discomfort, the inability to keep going, keep his head down and get to work, so to speak. Not to mention he was already worried about unintentionally bringing home the virus just from doing his job and the interactions that have to occur due to it. now that question lingers uncomfortably in the air – did he already bring it home?
This morning I caught him with three projects on the go, all while simultaneously listening to podcasts and cooking. It was pretty clear what was happening in that head of his, he did not know how to move forward.
We all, don’t know how to move forward.
That’s the truth, isn’t it? I mean, for myself, I have a system in place for the comfort of working at home while caring for my children but the temporary disruption of this thing has leeched too far to have routines anymore.
The hubby is stir crazy and uncertain of what is the best way forward, my children miss their friends and routine outside of the house, and I have had to honestly fight the depression and anxiety monster sword and pillow, like never before. (on that note, sleep is excellent for sorting mental health and emotions.) Even in the daily conversations of life right now, one can’t seem to dodge this particular beast. It’s disrupting everyone, everywhere and because of that, we all need each other, that much more.
No one has it figured out. Take comfort in that, because that means we are all collectively having a moment, we are all super uncomfortable with the state of the world right now.
So the idea of having a routine? Laugh at it. If you feel it helps, then just make a very loose one. One that allows you to breathe in the midst of an epidemic attempting to take just that away from us. Remember that everyone has their own head full of anxieties and uncertainty and that we as individuals can choose empathy as a way to cope. Empathy allows us to focus on how we can have a positive impact, despite what is presented.
So I say to you, If you got up today, great job. If you told someone that you love them, amazing job. If you told yourself, “today I did enough.” An even more incredible job.
Breathe – a new normal will eventually be here, and together we will all figure it out.